I’m lucky to still have both maternal grandparents at age 41, but grandpa’s mind is unfortunately heavily on the decline. He was always an intellectual which makes it extra painful.
I love my mother-in-law. I mentioned one time sixteen years ago that I enjoy red velvet cake, and for the following decade every time she got donuts there was at least one red velvet donut in there.
Now, while red velvet is delicious, it’s basically just chocolate. The real joy of red velvet cake is the cream cheese icing, which was never included on the donut. And even with the icing, it’s like my #3 or #4 favorite cake, and she never brought me a german chocolate cake donut.
She has learned that I prefer the peanut butter cream-filled, though. Now that’s the one that’s always included. Which is part of why I always tell people I lucked out marrying into a super great family.
butter cream-filled cake or donut?
What else is on your top cake rank?
I usually just eat plain cake, guess I ought try some fancy stuff more often
Peanut-butter-cream-filled donut. A long john-shaped donut with peanut butter cream inside and chocolate icing on the top and a light dusting of chopped peanuts on top is usually what she grabs. Good stuff.
My favorite cake fluctuates often, but I usually prefer cake with something special going on. German Chocolate, Carrot, Spice, Lava, that sort of thing. Yellow and White and Chocolate (and even Confetti) are all fine, but they’re not amazing.
Though I fully admit, I’m more of a pie person.
My grandmother stocked raisins in a jar in her kitchen for 30 years because I once said I liked raisins.
It was cool to know there was a jar of raisins there basically just for me to have raisins. But I eventually didn’t like raisins all that much anymore. But of course I’d have to have some raisins because she was keeping them there for me.
I told my grandma I was growing a third leg, and she knit me three socks
Is this an euphimism for “my grandma made a sheath for my dick”?
A cock sock.
A linen condom
My folks do this. If I say I like something, I’m getting that for Christmas for the next decade
my mother is somehow the opposite, if i say i don’t want something she’ll always and without fail ask me “since when do you hate [thing]”
Not arguing you’re wrong, but I’ve been witness to the other side of that sort of conversation.
The item was ketchup. Always needed to have ketchup. Then:
Child: “I hate ketchup!”
Mom: "What do you mean? You put ketchup on everything.’
Child: “I’ve never used ketchup. I’ve always hated it.”
[Jump forward a few years]
Child: “Where’s my ketchup?”
Mom: “I thought you hated ketchup?”
Child: “Since when? I use ketchup all the time.”
As the dad, I’m tempted to point out that mom doesn’t need help losing her mind, but as the dad, I also know better than to be involved.
Kids can be maddening. Mine has reflexively started saying the opposite of what they mean when asked a yes or no question.
For me it was always, what do you want for Christmas? How about a computer chair (because she didn’t like the chair I used, it was one you knelt on kind of like this.
I would say absolutely not, I love my chair. And she would get me a computer chair for Christmas.
Same thing happened with my graduation. She got my brother a watch a couple years before when he graduated, told her absolutely don’t get me a watch I never wear them as they always bothered my wrist. (I sweat and run hot, and we lived in Florida, which means it’s always 100% humidity). I of course got a watch for Graduation. I took it to get sized 7 years later, wore it home from the place that sized it put it in a drawer and the battery died god knows when after that, but long before I ever went to wear it, I just saw it was dead when I had to move it to another house. So now I carry a dead watch from place to place and I doubt it’s worth anything as it was engraved on the inside, so I doubt you could even pawn in.
I asked for a Butterfinger once as a kid and for the next 30 something years, my parents treated it like it was my favorite candy of all time (hint: it’s not).
I mean, at least it wasn’t a Zero Bar. I got those a couple times as a kid and they were okay if you were in the mood for it, but damn if someone said they got me a candy bar and handed me that I’d be a bit disappointed. But hell, Id still be happy someone gave me a candy bar though.
My dad does the same thing. If he has to run for smokes while I’m visiting he’ll come back with a Zero bar. I rarely buy candy for myself and I would never get myself a Zero bar. They’re perfectly fine but I’d probably go a Snicker’s Almond or something like that.
I’m guilty of the other way. I really don’t know what else my mother is into nowadays, but since she raised me on Star Trek, I usually just get her Star Trek shit.
The thing is, she loves it every time. Or claims to.
Maybe casually ask her sometime if she needs anything? Listen when she expresses interest in a random gadget, piece of cloth, etc? Notice when she gets frustrated with a task that a tool can help with, or that you can volunteer to manage?
People usually buy gifts they would like, and its so nice she loves it still, but I’d bet she’d be extra happy with a surprise.
I have an ex-girlfriend who almost exclusively live on orange juice, hummus and bread. So this was basically her fridge along with a big plastic bowl of homemade hummus and the freezer filled with one specific kind of bread. I like all of those things too but not so much I could live off of it.
Hommus slaps though.
I can go through a kilo of hummus a week. I eat it with chips, carrots, celery, bread.
this but with ice tea and i would love it.
My grandpa died a few years ago.
I have a family member whose fridge looks like this.
Because he is an unrepentant alcoholic who sucks down vodka like a fish does water, and thinks hes being clever by hiding it in orange juice.
And hes so “clever” that he doesnt hide the recycle bin, which is always overflowing with empty vodka bottles.
If he wanted to save on alcohol he could also use it to brew his own booze.
Pretty sure he just prefers the taste with orange juice as opposed to drinking it straight
Source: 5 months sober
I’ve heard that orange juice goes for like $11 a gallon in some places lately, so gramps must be ballin rich!
grampa: fuck gold or crypto, i am going OJ
edit: btw, gambling in OJ futures is quite a thing, i think there is even a movie about it
Trading Places, is the movie. 80’s movie
Looking good Billy Ray!
how? wasn’t the whole thing about orange juice that the US just had too many danged oranges so they started advertising it is the breakfast drink? shouldn’t it be dirt cheap?
I forget where I saw that online, but it was somewhere here in the USA. I can’t say I’ve personally seen OJ at that price, but honestly I haven’t ever shopped for OJ, so I dunno.
Still, somewhere between name brand and price gouging and shit, I don’t doubt it a bit. Wherever I saw that posted, it was a photo including the shelf price tag.
$10.99 a fucking gallon!
Someone posted a Canadian store selling it for that much due to tariffs.
This was before the tariffs actually.
Ouch, even worse
This made me curious so I checked. A Gallon on OJ cost $10 at my local chain store. It’s the only grocery store for a while so they get away with a lot. What does it normally cost? I’m not a fan and don’t think I’ve ever bought orange juice
Lol accurate. For me it was my grandma and corned beef hash. I said I liked it with eggs. Next time she stopped by, she brought a dozen cans of it. Can’t eat that stuff anymore, only homemade from now on because canned corned beef hash smells like dog food.
I find behavior like this really annoying. There’s a person that I have to be careful about what I say, otherwise I end up with gifts that I don’t really want
I had this the other way with my ex. She would say “I always liked X” and then I’d get her an X-related gift and she’d go “um okay, random.” Thing is she was supposedly feeding me with hints I never got.
Grandpa showing love in his own way.
“I hate orange juice!”
- 9 year old niece
Having young nieces and nephews, be very clear and leave obvious hints of what you’d like as gifts. I know that look of disappointment.
A good way to leave an obvious hint is to put it in “Saved For Later” of wherever the old grownups shop.
And be specific, or we’ll get it wrong! My husband terrorized our wee little girl by getting a Sonic Screwdriver for her stocking. But not the Doctor’s SS, the Master’s! She’s an adult now and that thing is still stuffed in the back of the closet from when she ran away from it.
Thanks grandpa 😀
