I personally don’t think it matters much at all, except in channels that specifically identify that way. However, I am male, hetero, cis, so its possible I’m just clueless.
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I’m a lady and haven’t had any trouble here. The only place I really notice how ridiculously male - skewed Lemmy is, is on the NSFW. That is definitely all “male gaze” stuff, with the occasional actual lesbian also posting stuff guys like. Even the posts OF men are FOR men, everything posted with some assumption only men are looking at the posts.
The other communities just aren’t so gendered, I don’t notice much whether someone seems to be one or the other, it isn’t relevant to cocktails or cooking or gardening or science fiction.
Men 🙄 /g
The only place I really notice how ridiculously male - skewed Lemmy is, is on the NSFW. That is definitely all “male gaze” stuff, with the occasional actual lesbian also posting stuff guys like. Even the posts OF men are FOR men, everything posted with some assumption only men are looking at the posts.
That sounds like a you problem. Everyone like to look at sexy ladies.
You misunderstand. Lots of women like to “look at sexy ladies,” but the things that turn men and women on in pornography are different (this should not be a surprise if you’ve sexually engaged with a member of the opposition sex). They’re noting that they didn’t find anything aimed at women, which is reflective of the gender demographics here.
the things that turn men and women on in pornography are different
Good point.
(this should not be a surprise if you’ve sexually engaged with a member of the opposition sex).
Don’t be a dick, Lemmy user. You made a good point. Don’t ruin it.
Not everyone is straight, I wasn’t digging at you for inexperience.
That Lemmy hasn’t devolved into an incel freak show is a barely functional alliance between the left lean and heavy moderation against the fact that Lemmy skews into Extra Opinionated Redditors (aka nerdy, lonely men)
When some poor lady tried to get a TwoX going here the comment sections were always a sausage fest of attempting to mansplain away women’s personal experiences and concerns and that’s really all you need to know about things.
I would say less than on reddit but still a thing. Being cisgender still is treated as a norm and the sort of folks who openly display misogynistic tendencies are fewer and farther between… But any innocuous mention to being trans will very get you a couple of dedicated downvoters or people who use gender essentialist arguements, silencing tactics (oh you’re just being devisive) or transphobic rhetoric.
Not to say that it is bad comparatively. This is one of the most trans neutral places on the internet. It’s not “trans friendly” mind you, I would categorize that as places where concensus about trans people being a normal thing to be has been reached and attention has shifted away from our basic rights as being up for debate… But trans neutral spaces are important too. We need holding spaces away from places where trans people talk openly where people can get to know us where the majority of support shuts down open hostility towards us prompting more nuanced interaction.
A lot of trans hostile spaces exist out there where being openly trans or advocacy for our needs invites a lot of death threats, calls for suicide, doxxing attacks and so on. If you see a comment section on youtube on a queer creator for instance that’s overwhelmingly trans positive that generally means there’s heavy moderation at play because they are trying to create spaces safe for their queer audience to interact with each other. What you as a casual visitor generally don’t see is the mental cost being taken on by that moderation team to artificially create the illusion of that positive space. Here on this instance that level of moderation is unnecessary because generally speaking the volume is manageable.
I’m not quite grasping the context you’re asking the question, but I will say gender matters on Lemmy in the sense that I want full representation from all genders (and non-gender folk). The value of conversation here is derived from the many viewpoints that each of us bring. Without full representation, we’ll be missing valuable inside and perspective if a specific gender (or non-gender) is missing.
I’m primarily interested in the opinions of people who are not at least one of male/hetero/cis; it’s too easy for the privikeged group to delude themselves about how good they are behaving.
Transfem here, generally unless the topic being discussed is gender specific users genders aren’t relevant. Though, Lemmy has a pretty bad track record with gender relations imo, the whole women choosing the bear thing was such a shit show. The men’s lib community is good though, I’ve interacted with a couple posts there that popped up on my feed while scrolling and it actually consists of users who are empathetic and understanding and not anti-women like the reddit one turned into. It’s interesting, Lemmy has many many more male users than female, and it goes a bit further, with the ratio of transmascs to transfems being reversed. I just think it’s interesting that it’s an amab/afab split rather than a gender split. As someone in the thread trans-hatingly put it, “even the women are men here.”
Doesn’t matter at all. A person is a person.
and some of us are barely people
Everyone is a complete person. Don’t belittle yourself like that.
I swear there’s at least one wasp who posts pro-wasp propaganda
Wait
White Anglo-Saxon Protestants are people!?
I’m a raccoon
I feel like a ‘raccoon’ that self-identifies as a ‘ramblingpanda’ on lemmy should be given…a warm welcome!
The trash is in the kitchen, the bamboo is out back, the bourbon is in the den, and the game starts in 5.
That’s a party of my taste 💖
I know you’re probably a kind person, but imo, this kind of reductionistism is incompatible with being pro-trans-rights.
In what way am I reducing them?
Not the person you’re replying to but it kinda feels like the “oh I don’t see color” comment when somebody brings up racism. To me, it feels… dismissive? I dunno. I don’t think what you said is a problem or anything, it just… feels like it has bad connotations to me. Take this with a grain of salt, what I understand and interpret can be very different from what you say, which can also differ from what you mean.
A person’s a person no matter how small
I call everyone dude, or man, especially when I’m excited. Idc what your gender is, you’re still my dude.
Good on ya, dude. Seems inclusive to me.
on the internet everyone is just a wall of text to me. (pronouns: it/its)
A wall of text characterized by a name and sometimes a profile picture.
You should definitively watch Everybody Hates Chris, by the way.
Lemmy is definitely a more male space than I think even reddit was, and that does affect the tone of certain conversations. It really is a whiplash coming here from Mastodon sometimes and seeing a very different vibe.
Even the women are men here /s
Using people’s PPs still matters. Especially if you’re talking about a user who clearly puts them in their display name. If someone with she/her pronouns is replied to by someone referring to them as him and he, that’s a dick move.
Most of the time it’s not too big of a deal but sometimes it’s very clear that it’s a male dominated social media, like when the pay gap between men and women is mentioned
Why not make a new account with a femme sounding username and see? Don’t pretend you need help with a bra or anything, just interact with lemmy while “labeled” a woman.
I have a more masculine username and a more feminine username (both seem like spins on given names, think UrArthUr and Bekky), and there is a difference in how I’m perceived, or at least how people respond to me. It’s not huge, and I’m afab irl, so I’m also not surprised- I don’t think I’ve ever been somewhere where people can freely interact and it had no effect (or at least not since I grew tits).
I couldn’t understand your last sentence, could you please explain it? /lh
There’s always a difference in how men and women are treated. It’s not always a horrible evil sexist thing, but people pick up on cues from tone and username and react to that.
Being online is nice, because the default assumption is that you’re a man, so unless you have a super femme username or are talking about something femme-coded like gardening or knitting, people tend not to treat you like a woman. “Treating you like a woman” basically means being dismissive of your experience or knowledge or tone policing (if I make a rude joke under a femme username, people downvote the hell out of it unless it’s about a very safe target- that’s how minor the difference is, to be clear). I’m also probably an egg, so my perception of not being treated like a woman as nice might be skewed.
Some time ago, I had the contrary thought of everyone being a man, so I used to think that just the way you described, everyone was a woman. I don’t know what happened to that thought, though. By the way, ::: spoiler I’m a GIRL! Guy In Real Life :::
By the way, if that’s not too much to ask, what do you mean with “skewed”? I’m a slow person 😓
Off, or not really the norm :)
Like, I said it’s nice that people think I’m a dude, but I don’t know if fully cis women think that’s nice 😅
Do people look at the usernames before replying to a message or post?
I may do it if the username is spelled with emojis (color is really noticable when everything around it is plain text) or has a stupid take.
I’m really happy my Lemmy app (Thunder) has an option to not show display names. I only see normal usernames and none of that KOLONAK bullshit.
It doesn’t really matter, anyone can use Lemmy, regardless of gender identity or orientation. Some instances and communities are better suited for specific groups than others but for the most part we’re all people.
My gender:
No gender, Only Dragon🐉
🖤🤍💚🤍🖤Identity in general doesn’t matter much on forums (as opposed to microblogs, like Twitter or Mastodon). Forums are focused on topics rather than people, and what is said is generally more important than who says it.
Depends on context, as always. A user sharing a story on social interaction, gender may be quite important to how they experienced it and how others perceive it. I.e., a post the other day asking about worst dates and the average worst date for men was a woman on coke or a no show. The average worst date for women was about getting sexually assaulted or raped.
Men are victims of those things too and can face different repercussions when they try to pursue help. Understanding their experiences within the context of them being men is also important.
Stripping gender from these stories only obfuscates some of the problems.
Definitely does not matter. The only thing that matters is, if you behave like an asshole or not.
