I got divorced like 5 months ago after a 9 years with this girl who cheated on me, emotionally abused me, etc etc

I’ve been suicidal since the split, getting worse by the day still, and literally nobody ever asked if I was OK, aside from my mom. Even when I begged close friends for support they basically just ghosted me. My ex is surrounded by support, from the same people who I thought were my best friends.

Do I just have shitty people around me or is this just what guys deal with? The attitude towards me is just “get over it”. I’ve lost almost everyone I’m close to because of this and I’m starting to think there might actually be one viable option of getting over it because existing is simply torture. All of 2025 felt like just a bad dream but it’s unfortunately real.

Edit: Yes I have a counselor - a very good one I see weekly.

      • Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        12·
        10 days ago

        Good for you. Keep at it, and don’t just think all counselors are the same. If yours is not working for you, just change. No real counselor will be upset if you do.

        They will never suggest change themselves

        • rabber@lemmy.caOPEnglish
          111·
          10 days ago

          This is the fourth counselor I have had in my life and this guy is by far the best one. I was recommended him by a coworker whom I respect very much.

          • Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com
            31·
            10 days ago

            Medicine helps too. I’m on Bupropion now, after having suicidal thoughts on Lexapro.

            It’s been good for me; it has completely eliminated the ideations, even though things in life have actually gotten worse.

            • rabber@lemmy.caOPEnglish
              52·
              10 days ago

              I am on lexapro for 5 years and honestly i didn’t think about swapping stuff. Maybe i should ask about adding welbutrin.

                • rabber@lemmy.caOPEnglish
                  41·
                  10 days ago

                  That’s why im afraid to do so. 5 years taking it. I feel really good on it though, but maybe the effect has faded and I cant even tell. But when i got on it i felt so good.

              • LuigiMaoFrance@lemmy.ml
                11·
                10 days ago

                If you still have a decent hairline be aware that Bupropion is the antidepressant with the strongest association with hair loss according to a meta analysis from ~5 years ago. I know it nuked my hairline after just 3-4 months of being on it.

                And to reply to your original topic, yeah, women receive way more support post-breakup in my experience, while men are expected to just suck it up. As a male you’re treated as disposable whose worth is based on what he can offer others, while women are inherently valued for being female.

                It is what it is.