Let’s have a lunch and learn!
“Good catch!”
Usually said when you bring up something that needs fixing, and said as a way to puff you up and not actually follow up on the problem.
“Good catch!”
We ‘nice catch’ each other all day. We celebrate when people find dumb shit, especially when it’s our dumb shit. We positively reinforce that natural code review and checking one another in the name of safety.
But I work with a bunch of pros on some private-possum shit, and that’s culture they’ve preserved from before the 2005 dark ages began. If you don’t know what positive reinforcement sounds like, I get it. Learning’s fun.
Are you a manager?
If you don’t know what positive reinforcement sounds like, I get it.
No, no. It’s words that sound like positive reenforcement be repurposed by people who don’t want to deal with an issue.
Effectuate
I’m going to effectuate this pole right up the ass of the next person to use that word.
I can’t think of a sentence in which it doesn’t sound heavy handed.
Please effectuate the reports. Accounting will effectuate the invoice. HR has effectuated the hire.
👉👈
I had a manager who at the end of every meeting (and I mean EVERY meeting) said “go team!” It was especially annoying since he wasn’t actually present in 99.9% of those meetings.
Sometimes I say this in a glib or sarcastic or ironic kind of way. It’s not an “every meeting” kind of thing.
I’m not a manager but maybe a supervisor I guess.
My current bugbear is “guesswork,” although in my case this is in the context of the marketing bumf that my vendors and manufacturers slather their products in.
Apparently in the corporate world, the only purpose of guesswork is to “take it out of” things. Take the guesswork out of this, take the guesswork out of that. It seems at this point you are guaranteed that any time “guesswork” appears in a sentence it’s going to be preceeded or followed by it being taken out of something, as surely as U always follows Q.
Once you notice the pattern (it doesn’t take you long if you’re sitting in my seat) the lack of originality becomes deeply irritating.
Ya why don’t they just ask for a better plan, or say some part doesn’t make sense to them. “Taking the guesswork out” to me means “I’m not convinced, go do more homework and explain this better”… Why can’t people just say that.
I heard “rightsizing” for the first time last year.
I have no idea what knucklehead PR dumbass came up with that but it made the following layoffs even more unpalatable.
The only time I hear rightsizing is for cloud resources. I’ve never heard of it in human resources. That sucks.
Please socialise the requirement throughout your teams
Actionable. Ugh.
This one works in my company. If you have a ticket with no actionable items (you can’t do anything to improve it or it is complete), then you use that lack of actionable items to make a timer to close it, or pressure the team you’re waiting on.
One company I worked for decided it was a good idea to name a bunch of firings due to performance “Project Panda” 🤦
I mean that one is kinda funny. “Project Sloth” might have worked a bit better but been too on the nose.
Think out of the box
I don’t have a problem with the words - I have a problem with them getting appropriated and destroyed by corporates.
People saying something needs to be flushed out when they really want it fleshed out.
I suppose it could be used in the sense of a dog flushing out game for the hunters - to make something hidden visible so it can be dealt with.
Lmao!
I’d ask if they want me to get rid of it.
I also have a colleague who refers to Apple computers as MAC, and has at least once asked for MAC addresses of some devices when what she meant was IP addresses last associated with the devices.
Collaboration. I have never worked at a single company that wanted people talking or collaborating on the work floor, or even when sharing a cubicle, let alone listen to any suggestion us peons had to offer. They keep using it as an excuse for RTO.
More from the sales types but saying ‘value added’ is the same as saying greedy mark up.
“Opportunities” when talking about shitty metrics.
“Makes you feel like character”
Yes, this movie about a billionaire with severe mental issues who lost both of his parents makes me feel like I lost my parents too.
