I wanted to tell a joke here, but all the good jokes argon.
That was such a noble thing to admit.
it didnt get a reaction out of me
You could say you were inert to my attempt at humor.
The original joke was pure Gold, but these later ones are just Boron me
K
I was going to tell a sodium joke, but Na.
Is that a mother fucking Warframe reference?
Yesss, someone finally caught it!
It wasn’t me it was my friend next to me :p
Well then, my greetings to you and your adjascent friend! :) Good catch!
We can’t lick sodium or chlorine, but combine them and you get something we literally make blocks of for the purpose of licking. What a world!
One is bad in one way and the other is bad in the opposite way.
Neutralize!
Remind your cousin Becky about this when she starts going on about mercury compounds in vaccines
This is like the nile red videos where hes like “plastic gloves are essentially grape fruit” and then proceeds to make it.
But does this imply licking it in a “lickable” state? I have a hard time imagining licking a gas, and licking hydrogen as a liquid at -250 C or so sounds, not great.
Depending on the quantity and the leidenfrost effect, you might be fine
Lithium, Sodium etc. need to be upped to “please reconsider.” Calcium and all the lanthanides are also metals I would not advise licking because theyre very reactive. Promethium is especially dangerous due to its radioactivity with its longest lived isotope having a half life of around 17 years. So not only is it reactive, youd die to the radiation too.
Lithium is just gonna be a little fizzy like pop rocks. No explosions, thankfully. The LiOH produced would not be fun for you, but probably won’t hurt anyone else.
Lithium salts are used to treat bipolar. The metal isnt just reacting with the water on your tongue to create a very strong base (and lots of heat), you are also going to be ingesting that Lithium (as a lithium soap as it reacts with oils and fats) which can have different (unpleasant) effects on you depending on how much was ingested. If your kidney function is impaired, it gets worse.
I’d bump up cesium, rubidium, and probably potassium to “please reconsider”, as I would not want to stand near you
A decent chunk of these are “how would you even?” and a few others are “you’re doing it right now.”
That’s hilarious because me and my brother licked lead fishing weights for fun as a child. It’s probably why I’m retarded.
Can someone make one for suitability as dildo material?
Edit: Here it is, chumps
awesome contribution
A nobel prize would be given to a lot more of those. Especially those naturally brittle or liquid.
I guess it’s only implied but any liquid is inserted as a solid - e.i. below its melting point. It’s assumed anything crumbly has a suitable binding agent.
A few of them are definitely wrong as has been pointed out to me but I’m glad we’re all learning about science!
How is bromine “probably fine”? It should be in the rectal damage section.
Calcium should probably be in the “Ow, my ass” section.
There are a bunch wrong. Feel free to go crazy with it.
Edit: NEW VERSION IS UP Yay
Better, but still a few issues.
Promethium, radium, curium, and Californium are all radioactive enough to cause rectal damage. Conversely, I don’t think phosphorus (black or red) or selenium are reactive enough to cause much harm.
Thank you for your contributions to this
Licks calcium one time
Lick my As! You chemists can’t stop me from slobbering on every element.
The elements can defend themselves. You lick whatever you want, buddy.
Yes you can!
Please don’t lick elemental hydrogen.
Out of curiosity, what would happen if you do?
Nothing, because you can have only one atom of it. Multiple will just form molecular hydrogen H2. That one hydrogen atom will aggressively rip of another hydrogen of a molecule of water for example, but it won’t be noticeable.
But Lead tastes so good!
I wonder what metallic Sodium tastes like…
It tastes like hot hydrogen gas (that will quickly mix with oxygen and taste like superheated steam).
If that doesn’t get ya, it would taste like sodium hydroxide, and also soap. (The soap is from the hydroxide turning the fats in your cells into soap.)
It tastes like pain.
Lithium is only yellow??
It’s literally medicine in small doses
Those are lithium compounds and not elemental lithium?
Good question
Uranium is only yellow for some reason
I fully agree with it being yellow. By far, the most common isotope of uranium is uranium-238, which is indeed radioactive, but not dangerously radioactive. In this list, lead is listed as a yellow because it can give you heavy metal poisoning. In this scenario, the uranium would cause more damage to your body by damaging it as lead would (heavy metal poisoning affecting brain, kidneys, liver, etc) before the radiation would ever have an impact on your body.
But would it be elemental prior to licking or oxidized as usual? Because one is still significantly worse than the other and looking at lithium very much suggests elemental uranium!
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I think licking pure uranium is worse for your health than licking pure chlorine gas
I think the assumption with the chlorine is that you end up inhaling it and dying fairly quickly. Licking uranium isn’t a great idea, but you might not ever have noticable effects, even long term, if very little comes off onto your tongue. I know people who have accidently tasted plutonium in solution.
I dunno, if that gasses are in a state where they’re able to be licked, they’d mess you up pretty bad
