I thought you said “cheese curd,” at first, so I was about to start arguing.

I mean, I’ve never fucked with them, but it has been explained to me that they emit a squeaking sound, when you eat them.

Now, look, I know the Ancient Romans ate mice. But even those sick motherfuckers didn’t eat LIVE mice. So, basically, we’re talking about modern-day Midwesterners being the only people to eat anything that squeaks.

I ain’t doing that. It freaks me out, on a visceral level.