For me, it was learning English. Although I do make a few mistakes here and there, I’m mostly perfect on it.
The amount of resources you have access to dramatically increases when you know a universal language. I say dramatically because it made me realize how much my native language lacks when it comes to certain topics. The most obvious one to me was tech and computers. Everybody knows how to use Windows but there are very few resources about stuff beyond Windows. It’s actually sad. [insert sad face here]
Deciding to transition ten years ago
I’d say so far, my best decision has been saying “ok” when an old coworker offered me an interview at a new job.
OP, do you mind if I ask what your native language is?
I apologize for the late reply. I was really busy these few days.
OP, do you mind if I ask what your native language is?
Well I do not mind. It’s Turkish.
Asked my boss to relocate me to another country 5 years ago. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I’m glad I even asked in the first place, because no one else had done it at the time.
It’s kind of weird that English became a universal language. There must have been better choices.
I mean the options at the time were English, French and maybe Spanish with Dutch being a distant 4th so… Not really? Nowadays your options are English or Mandarin.
French and Spanish would have been better.
I don’t speak Spanish but I do speak French and I disagree.
Getting a divorce. My life has been better since then, even when I lived in my car.
A “friend” started a company and hired me. It was pretty fun for a year. Then it became pretty bad — real bad. I quit on the spot after a verbal abuse session where I demanded more respect and my “friend” / boss literally said “no.”
It’s been a little over a year since I quit. Lived in my car for some of it, otherwise took odd jobs here and there where I could rent a room temporarily.
I’m at the end of this insane journey — starting a new job in a couple months. It’s been rough but I still think it was the right decision. Curious to see myself in 6 months to a year.
Anyway, felt like this was somewhat similar to your case.
Marrying my wife. She is so smart and strong. We make a great team and we have been able to resolve the various conflicts of 15 years. I couldn’t have chosen a better partner.
Getting away from my ex.
I had resigned myself to my life being over. But when we started pushing for kids, I started noticing relief whenever it didn’t work. I realized that while I might have been willing to sacrifice myself to her, I wasn’t willing to sacrifice kids.
So I did the unthinkable, and I called it all off. It was horribly sad, but now after five years out, I’m feeling like myself again. I shudder to think of that zombified state I was living in.
I hate that you are right because English is such a janky ass language.
And don’t worry too much on mistakes since native speakers suck at english too.
No we aren’t
Quit smoking.
Apart from that, it’s been a clusterfuck.
Joining the electrical union. I’m a convicted felon. The union gave me a future.
Quit work at 35, am now 58.
Regrets ? Not brave enough to quit earlier.
How do you support yourself and how did you make that happen?
If you are actually interested there was movement, not sure if still going, a few years ago called financial independence. It was r/financialindependence. One of their influencers was Mr Money Moustache. You can look that up if you want
Yeah :) I actually am going to reach FI myself next year at 33 y/o. Was hoping to hear this person’s story since its a concept I’m very interested in.
Making new year resolutions and actually following through with them until i have succeeded. Each new year, if i completed my previous year goal, i will spend some time thinking about what i could do to best improve my life. i also very carefully word the resolution, so i am not able to ‘cheat’ in any way.
I started off by doing something i saw as a joke. the resolution was to watch every episode and movie of star trek, star wars and dr who. After accomplishing this goal (after 3 years) i realized that making the goal specific is more important. a vague goal that says “do better” in some way is bad. it is better, for me, to aim for a reasonable and achievable goal.
For example, “losing weight” is a bad. if i never stopped losing weight, it would be worse than if i never stopped gaining weight. if i make the goal “get to, then stay within 180-200 pounds”, it is a good goal. (for my height, this is a healthy range).
i started doing this in 2006. since starting i have quit drinking alcohol, quit illegal drugs and reconnected with family members i lost contact with, during the time i was doing the other two.
the most recent goal i made, in 2020, is actually the opposite of my first goal: quit watching tv and movies, quit playing videogames and educate myself as much as possible, until i get a college degree (this is difficult. i have developmental disorders) or buy a house. since they are harder goals than before, i gave myself a deadline of before 2030 begins.
It could help with long term to define sub goals.
For example, about what amount of savings you want to have by which date, or set a date when you want to have a clear concise description of what kind of house and location you are looking for.
At another date you want to be familiar with all the things that involve buying a house, the documents and what not.
By defining sub goals you keep things real and are able to measure your position towards your goal.
It’s a valid strategy for dealing with complex and long term stuff.
