I just got ghosted by the girl I was talking to, I want to find another girl to talk to. This girl and I met at the gym, but I don’t want to be the guy that goes to the gym just to meet girls. I mean sure there’s the bar and Tinder, but I want a real relationship. I mean, I guess it’ll come to me.

  • flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz
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    6 months ago

    No matter what so many people say, it’s not mandatory to have a partner!

    Invest your effort in figuring out how to live with yourself. Build a life worth living on your own.
    A right person might come, or not. But at least you didn’t waste your life chasing wrong goals.

    • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
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      6 months ago

      And also, all relationships are valuable. A good friendship is a wonderful boon to your mental health… and if you’re seeking a relationship for sex there are far easier ways to do it.

      • taladar@sh.itjust.works
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        6 months ago

        Also, expanding on that, if you go into every interaction with a narrow expectation (e.g. to find the love of your life) you will be disappointed almost all the time but if you keep an open mind you might come out of that with some other positive interactions (a new friend, an interesting conversation, …) than you expected or were hoping for.

    • Asafum@feddit.nl
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      6 months ago

      Thank you for being one of the only people to be real about how it’s not a guarantee. You might not find anyone. I see way too much fairy tale thinking and all the “just wait, she’ll come” nonsense.

      Being lonely sucks, being single in a society that requires 2 incomes sucks, but I think being in a shitty relationship just to be in a relationship is worse.

      • flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz
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        6 months ago

        Unfortunately I’m writing from personal experience.

        After too many years I don’t think I’ll ever find anyone. But accepting it was a relief. It’s terrifyingly lonely at times, but at least I’m not suicidal any more. And I understand who I am and what is my way of life.

        I can’t understate the benefits of understanding oneself can have on mental health.

        • Asafum@feddit.nl
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          6 months ago

          I’m in a similar position, but I think I’m still working through “coming to terms” with my “situation.”

          It’s definitely depressing as I’ve only had 2 real goals in life: be in a loving relationship, and own a home. Both of those are proving to be exceedingly unlikely to happen the older I get.

    • Wild_Mastic@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      I mean, I understand people not looking for a partner. But sometimes having a person close to you can help a ton especially in hard times and great for fighting loneliness.

      I have a a couple of close friends, but they’re all moving away for work/stuff, and being alone is hitting hard.

    • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      it’s not mandatory to have a job or a car or a house.

      but the vast majority of us want those things and a life without them is pretty shitty.