To give you an actual answer, and you will probably not like this answer - you eat everything. Eventually. And it won’t end well.

You have only your hands, so you won’t catch any meat. You could try to make tools to make traps or catch fish, but that’s really hard.

For the first week, you probably won’t eat much at all. The hunger will fade after the first 24 hours. But after a few days it will come back, and it will come back strong. You’ll do what babies do - taste everything.

You won’t have tribal knowledge passed down, so you’ll rely on the backups - smell and taste.

Put a little bit of whatever it is in your mouth. If it’s bitter, spit it out. If it makes your mouth tingly after a few minutes, spit it out. Otherwise, swallow it. Wait an hour. If you’re still alive, and feel okay, that thing is probably okay.

You’re going to eat lichen, moss, tree buds, flowers, lots of roots, and strange berries. You’re going to turn over rocks and eat grubs and worms. You’re smart enough to shy away from mushrooms - at first.

Eventually you will be so incredibly hungry, and you will see mushrooms with mouse chew marks, and you’ll think to yourself: “if the mice can eat it, so can I!”. You’ll probably be right, and regardless, the gamble between a new food source and death will seem like a win-win.

Eventually you will get it wrong, and it will hurt the entire time that you’re dying. Life sucks. Your best bet is a few lucky guesses on something relatively abundant so that you can stop guessing.

Longer term, eventually you will figure out those tools you were attempting between foraging runs. Even longer term, you will re-invent farming, and even might not die of a vitamin deficiency. Good luck!

—-

Practical answer: don’t do that. Ignore food. Get rescued. Go downhill. Most of civilization is on the coastlines and/or riverbanks.

And drink the water! If you only have gross water and no way to filter or boil it - drink it. The difference between death by dehydration and death by bacteria is about one to two weeks, which is more than enough to be rescued. The hospital might be able to fix you sick. They can’t fix dead.

I love Ed. He is a fantastic writer.

r/theydidthemonstermath

r/theydidthemath

Durov gets arrested in france and suddenly the telegram slander kicks into high gear. It gets a hit piece every once in a while for sure, but the last few days have been on a different level.

You know who else uses telegram? My family, to send vacation pics to each other.

You know what other technology bad guys use? Email.

Private trackers disgust me. What kind of pirate turns away from the world, to re-seeding fragments of files they don’t care about to other cowards with slightly slower rss feeds; all for a chance at enough ratio to get the show you want? It’s a country club, with self-validating assholes, dry hot dogs, and tall fences.

The Mainline DHT is the way forward. There is no social credit here. The kids in Africa are starving, and I will throw them as much as I can, kilobyte by kilobyte, for no reason at all, for I too was a leecher once.

I wanted a countertop dishwasher. Home depot doesn’t have them in stores, it was online only. I figured it would probably make me make an account in order to check out. I said nah.

It’s an open source linux graphics driver.

It is very widespread, despite being quite slow, because it works. It ships by default with almost everything, and is the fallback when card-specific drivers fail

Edit: what Max_P said

I have declared war on notifications. My immediate family, two closest friends, and my boss can call me. In no other circumstances will my phone make a noise or vibrate. I will check my texts when I feel like it.

Other than a few exceptions, no apps may show the notification badge either. Discord will show DMs and mentions from one or two servers. Everything else is blocked. My work email may show unread email. I’ve even turned off banners on my work chat app. I don’t think I’ve checked my personal email in months.

All my recurring charges are paperless + autopay. That’s another notification badge I forgot about - I have a budgeting app that can show transactions. I categorize them, make sure their categories are covered, and I’m done.

On the first of the month, I pay rent and set the budgeting app categories. Then I have nothing to worry about, and near-zero distractions. My biggest pain point in life is deciding what to eat for dinner.

This is absolute gold. To the right person, this comment is priceless. Thank you for typing all this out. This is wisdom right here.

Anything exposed to the internet will be found by the scanners. Moving ssh off of port 22 doesn’t do anything except make it less convenient for you to use. The scanners will find it, and when they do, they will try to log in.

(It’s actually pretty easy to write a little script to listen on port 20 (telnet) and collect the default login creds that the worms so kindly share)

The thing that protects you is strong authentication. Turn off password auth entirely, and generate a long keypair. Disable root login entirely.

Most self-hosted software is built by hobbyists with some goal, and rock solid authentication is generally not that goal. You should, if you can, put most things behind some reverse-proxy with a strong auth layer, like Teleport.

You will get lots of advice to hide things behind a vpn. A vpn provides centralized strong authentication. It’s a good idea, but decreases accessibility (which is part of security) - so there’s a value judgement here between the strength of a vpn and your accessibility goals.

Some of my services (ssh, wg, nginx) are open to the internet. Some are behind a reverse proxy. Some require a vpn connection, even within my own house. It depends on who it’s for - just me, technical friends, the world, or my technically-challenged parents trying to type something with a roku remote.

After strong auth, you want to think about software vulnerabilities - and you don’t have to think much, because there’s only one answer: keep your stuff up to date.

All of the above covers the P in PICERL (pick-uh-rel) for Prepare. I stands for Identify, and this is tricky. In an ideal world, you get a real-time notification (on your phone if possible) when any of these things happen:

• Any successful ssh login
• Any successful root login
• If a port starts listening that you didn’t expect
• If the system watching for these things goes down (have two systems that watch each other)

That list could be much longer, but that’s a good start.

After Identification, there’s Contain + Eradicate. In a homelab context, that’s probably a fresh re-install of the OS. Attacker persistence mechanisms are insane - once they’re in, they’re in. Reformat the disk.

R is for recover or remediate depending on who you ask. If you reformatted your disks, it stands for “rebuild”. Combine this with L (lessons learned) to rebuild differently than before.

To close out this essay though, I want to reiterate Strong Auth. If you’ve got strong auth and keep things up to date, a breach should never happen. A lot of people work very hard every day to keep the strong auth strong ;)

For the Nth time, crowdstrike circumvented the testing process

Edit: this is not to say that cs didn’t have to in order to provide their services, nor is this to say that ms didn’t know about the circumvention and/or delegate testing of config files to CS. I’ll take any opportunity to rag on MS, but in this case it is entirely on CS.

Crowdstrike is big, but not that big.

About half of my clients use them; and of those, about a third are halfway through ripping them out in favor of MS defender.

(MS is definitely “that big”)

Crowdstrike runs at ring 0, effectively as part of the kernel. Like a device driver. There are no safeguards at that level. Extreme testing and diligence is required, because these are the consequences for getting it wrong. This is entirely on crowdstrike.

Wiz scans clouds for “vulnerabilities”, and sometimes provides remediation advice. For example, if a vm’s kernel is outdated, it might recommend “sudo dnf remove —purge kernel”. And yeah, there sure won’t be any vulnerabilities after that.

It also complains about anything internet facing - including intentionally internet facing services - but that’s another rant for another time.

This movie was great. It’s an indie movie with a tiny budget, so I went in with low expectations, and it blew them out of the water.

I can’t get the title to work.

It says 6 lanes in each direction, but I only see four, and can get to five if I count on/off ramps.

It says 8 feeder lanes, but 8 + 12 main lanes is only 20, not 26. Unless it means 8 per side, which would add up to 28.

Regardless, the best I can do is the off ramp in the top left. It has three “main” lanes and two left turn lanes, for a total of five. If I count the ramp next to it in addition to the four core lanes on that side of the median, we get ten lanes flowing from top to bottom - still 3 short of 13, which we’d then have to match on the other side to get 26.

I would call this 8 lanes; 4 in each direction. You can fudge the numbers by counting ramps, but even if you count parallel roads too, I don’t see anywhere close to 26.

If I count the roads off the sides, on ramps and off ramps, etc, the highest I can get is 18 lanes. Is this the photo of where it’s 26 wide? I can’t seem to find it.

The Taos might be the play - I am very nearly in love with the Golf, and even though I love a small car, it’s just slightly too small. I want to fit at least a hiking backpack in the trunk.