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Joined 9 months ago
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Cake day: February 18th, 2024

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  • I had one interesting experience when it came to explicit consent. I walked to the date, she drove. No alcohol was consumed by any parties.

    She offered to give me a ride home, which I politely declined, and then accepted when she pushed. I asked her if she wanted to come inside, and she said yes. I asked her if she wanted to come upstairs, and she said yes. We went up to my bedroom, did the deed, I asked her if she wanted to take a shower together and she said yes. I asked her if she wanted to go for round 2 and she said no. She left, shortly thereafter, and I was pretty confused when she told me she had felt pressured into sex and didn’t want to see me again, when I thought I had intentionally given her lots of opportunities to say yes or no.

    I still don’t think I need to get a legally binding document agreeing to engagement in sexual intercourse, but that experience really demonstrated to me that an extra awkward question or two is better than the alternative.


  • That’s valid.

    I do think it’s reasonable to have an interest in what kind of development is approved and funded. I wouldn’t support developers who wanted to build McMansions, and luxury condos are less appealing than affordable housing. I expect there could be some extreme, unrealistic case in which you too might oppose a specific development, even if it was high density.

    Aesthetic appeal (and yes, NIMBYism) is what kept a lot of small cities in North America, including mine, from being replaced by strip malls.

    Of course, this line of reasoning could be continued to oppose anything and everything.


  • Pointing out that the proposed development would be out of place does not make you a hypocrite. Maybe you and any like-minded neighbors can explain your viewpoint, emphasizing that you would be happy with a smaller apartment building.

    It may be that in a few decades, such structures will not look so out of place in your neighborhood. Developers seem to think there’s a demand. You live in a desirable location.

    I can commiserate. I’m in a similar area, with a mix of single family homes, duplexes, and small apartments, a few blocks from a walkable downtown. I don’t think a 6 story building would be aesthetically pleasing next to the 2-3 story structures near me.

    With that said, I emailed my representatives, and hope to attend the city meeting in support of a new zoning plan allowing for more apartments and businesses, without parking minimums in my neighborhood.