About 1 i am using https://github.com/dail8859/NotepadNext Feels very close experience to notepad++
2.I am using ifuse without any need for itunes i simply copy paste files as it would be android phone i am using it in cli ,but u can try to use https://github.com/Helltar/idevicegui
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I am using celluloid or smplayer which is frontend for mpv,mplayer and other,great tool.
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U can customize almost any shortcut u want
About distribution i like linux mint cinnamon for me it feels quite polished and also using arch linux with kde,but i don’t think it’s for u,at least for now.But at the same time arch have the biggest repository of any kind of programs comparing with other distros + aur .i am running it on everyday bases and mostly everything just works except if nvidia driver break something from time to time.
Personally i am using pop os with Wayland enabled on my surface pro 3