Sigh… unzips

OP you have to be my favorite username to see on lemmy when I’m looking for a good entertaining post. Keep up the quality memes!

I get around this by setting my passwords to something easy to type like *******

Completely unrelated, does anybody know why my bank balance always goes back to 0 immediately after my paystubs are deposited?

I’m trying to remember the brainrot memes from my childhood but I can’t because I am le tired

The packets: “I want to get off Mr Bones’ wild ride”

Disclaimer: I’m a straight cis man, but I have/have had quite a few lesbian friends over time who have explained this joke to me. Take my explanation with the appropriate grain of salt

“the dating pool is tiny to nonexistant” is a common complaint I’ve heard from lesbians I know, probably related to the fact that I’ve mostly lived in rural areas. Given the low availability of partners, its more common to jump into relationships quickly and really commit to them. I’ve also heard a lot of “I really want somebody to live with me so I don’t just choke on something and die”. Probably less common nowadays, but I’m from a generation when it was harder to be gay publicly --> harder for lesbians to find roommates. Living with other women often meant being stigmatized by straight women that don’t understand lesbians are people and not just sex crazed harlots, and honestly that but worse because of a higher threat of violence with straight men. I’ve heard that moving in with a romantic partner as a lesbian is a move that lets you have a roommate with less objectification related to your gender/orientation. Again, idk how much of that is true today, but that is my understanding of the origins of the joke

You ever start replying to disagree with a comment and then realize the things you’ve normalized in your romantic past are a bit fucked up? That’s where I’m at right now

I’ve had sex plenty of times I didn’t really want to in the past. It goes like

She’s horny and wants to fuck. I am not

If I say no it’s a self esteem meltdown

If I say yes it’s a bit of a workout that ends in cuddling, which I always want

It’s just always felt better for my life to be an on demand dick machine than somebody who can say no

I cast non-magic missile!

Checks out. I used to work at Jimmy johns as a delivery driver, and almost every Friday without fail I’d get an order from a Michelin restaurant at like 430pm before they opened. Loved that delivery

I’m afraid to watch this show again because I remember it being an awesome trippy mess, but I don’t want tonrealize it’s all nostalgia and the show actually sucks so I can’t rewatch it

I used to live in an unfinished basement in Pennsylvania that had a lot of these little guys. They used to hang out on the stairs on the ceilings and in my nightmares. Never saw any other kind of bug in that house though

deleted by creator

Your dog is adorable :)

You got it backwards, he lifts to improve jerking vigour.

I too grew up in a southern military family. Interests other than football or otherwise hurting other people? That’s a paddlin

This is where most of my passwords come from

Idk. Based on the number of fight scenes in that series that start with glistening men ripping off their clothes before fighting, I’d argue that kiryu at least has a kink for public indecency

Mine does that but only the 1-6 buttons. And like… if I’m being honest microwaving something for longer than 6 minutes is probably less than 1% of my total microwave usage, but it feels like the greatest injustice ever experienced by anybody when I have to press cook time then 8 0 0 to get my microwave to run for 8 minutes

I get it though. Like, I’m into dark chocolate myself, but beyond about 85% dark it gets to be a bit much for me. I’ve absolutely pretended to enjoy 99% before as to avoid embarrassing myself in front of friends who were kinda snobs about it though

I thought there was a rule about just adding every new plant species to brassica