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  • 4 Posts
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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 31st, 2023

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  • I love telling this story, but I’ll warn beforehand it’s explicit.

    ! so, one time I was getting a blow job from this dude who was sort of newly out as bi curious. So, he asked if he could suck me off because he’d never done it before. Anyway, when I came, he didn’t pull off and decided he was going to swallow, and since he was still really new and nervous, I thought it would be hilarious if I said “no homo” when I came.

    Unfortunately, he also thought that was hilarious, and laughed while swallowing. Ever seen milk come out of a kids nose in the cafeteria? That. But with spunk !<



  • I can’t find a source right now, because I just woke up and I don’t want to, so (Trust Me Bro, et al, 2024) but there’s a chance that quote is actually about Nazis!

    A lot of French people referred to them as “the others” and would often speak sort of semi-codedly about them in writing and such so as not to piss off their new overlords. So that line may well not have been “I’m such an introvert that being around other humans is like being in hell” but instead “hell has delivered itself to my doorstep in the form of goose-stepping bastards”


  • I once had a conversation with a cashier in TN that started with a newspaper by check out saying something about remembrance day in England. I explained it’s basically like their version of Memorial Day. It ended with me having to explain what Europe is. A super abridged synopsis:

    Me: It’s basically their version of Memorial Day.

    Her: why do they need a different version?

    Me: they’re a different country, different laws.

    Her: it’s not really a different country if you can drive to it

    Me:… What

    Her: I mean, it’s basically just the same country

    Me: you cannot drive to England.

    Her: you can’t?

    Me: it’s an island.

    Her: I thought it was Europe?

    Me: you also cannot drive to Europe.

    I then had to explain what Europe was, how England is Europe in the same way Puerto Rico is North America. I shouldn’t have included that. Or tried to explain armistice day. It was a very long conversation that ended up going outside during her smoke break.

    She was the second grown adult I had to explain Europe to. Tennessee has failed it’s children, y’all. I’m not being funny, and contrary to OP’s premise, I don’t really judge them for this. I judge the state and the school system. It’s bad.





  • I’m not gonna lie, I straight up love taco bell. I avoided it for years and years because of the stereotype about it making you sick or being cheap and gross. Then I was out a few years ago and had 2 dollars in change and an empty belly. That shit was good and no stomach upset. It’s now my go to fast food, especially considering it’s easy as hell to get veggie options.

    Also, gas/bloat is not specific to taco bell, it’s fucking beans. Eat anything with beans and you’re gonna get gassy. Not directed specifically at you, just anyone who needs to hear this.