I never found a demon-haunted doo dad at a thrift store, but one time I found this ornate gold and black cat statue about four feet tall, very Egyptian looking and they wanted $4 for it, so I bought it. I’m into that kind of garish stuff. Anyway the guy at the register actually said, “what if it turned out to be an enchanted statue, and once you got it home, it turned into a beautiful man.”

And I was like…!! cheapest date ever.