• Ann Archy@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    Not to be too personal, but did that affect you a lot later in life, I mean the constant being on guard and fear of getting caught, to always have a lie ready to go and be nervous all the time? I find that if affects most people like that, but roughly one in five instead become super chill and really get their shit sorted. I’m not going anywhere specific with this, I just got curious from an academic and personal experience pov.

    • UnPassive@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Yeah definitely some lasting consequence. I’m a pretty good liar, and extremely skilled at manipulating people to calm down. Sometimes I wish I stood my ground better and let there be friction between me and others. Instead I sort of morph into whatever they need, sometimes abandoning my core principals. It came in handy to save my siblings’ asses a few times though. But literally just yesterday my wife was video calling her mom and showed her my brand new ear piercings (which I’ve wanted my whole life, but is a huge no no for men in Mormon circles, so it’ll be a big deal when my side of the family finds out) - anyway, I wanna stretch/gauge them because I like the look of small tunnels, so my mother in law says, “they look so nice, but you won’t gauge them, right?” And I’m like “no of course not” because I know it’s probably a bit shocking to her that I pierced them at all. But I wish I instead said something non-commital like “not now, but I love the look of small gauges”

      Overall, the biggest effect is probably the distance I feel towards my parents lol

      If your curious, I’d describe myself as quite chill, but very reserved. I wouldn’t even say I was constantly on guard… I was just a good liar. Got caught for very few things. I have a lot of siblings though (10), so I doubt I’d have had as much opportunity if I were an only child or something

      • Ann Archy@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        manipulating people to calm down.

        There are worse uses! It’s like I thought, you’re one of the good ones.

        edit:

        a big deal when my side of the family finds out

        I am sorry my man. That’s some silly shit for anyone to get upset about. Grats on the pierces! I got fuck drunk at a festival when I was 16 and came home to mom and dad with pierced eyebrows. There were some very very frowny faces at home for some time, but I got away with it. I think they knew that ultimately, I don’t give a shit what they think. I just happen to, but I don’t have’ta. Good thing with many siblings. Then you can flow around them and disappear in the crowd so to speak. Peace.