American Christianity is a death cult straight out of a Dungeons and Dragons campaign as the transparently evil bad guys. They should not be allowed to steer modern society in any way.
seriously, as long as believing in gods and shit isn’t seen as the mental disorder it is in the whole world, humanity will never drag itself out this swamp of stupidity we are currently in.
rms is the only prophet I’ll ever believe /s
If we’re going to have a religious book, it should be The Egg.
…that was a significant theme in 2061: oddysey three…
I have multiple factions now in my campaign based on their actions. For example, one is manufacturing an “invasion” and is about to plan a false flag event to gain even more power. Turns out fascists are pretty villainous people
A good DM wouldn’t use such a cartoonishly evil villain. It wouldn’t be believable.
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I don’t care if heaven exists, but people like this really make me hope there’s a Hell.
Hey, take that back! No fictional demon, devil, or yugoloth can ever be as evil as humans like these.
ok captain relaxium.
Trump couldn’t recite the first 5 words of the Lord’s Prayer without a prompter.
He’s not a professed catholic. I’m sorry, he’s a piece of shit, but Christians don’t know this like Catholics do.
Catholics… ARE Christians. The original, some would argue.
Catholicism is derived from one of the few original Christian traditions that survived.
And the Greek Orthodox church has as much claim to that lineage.
One could argue that the Nestorians, the Copts and/or the Ethiopian church might be closer to the original.
Which is why I said “some would argue”. I’m not trying to decide who is following Christ the best. Just saying, it’s absurd to not include them in the term Christians, which I see people from the US do all the time (so I’m assuming it’s a US thing).
I’m not sure he could do it with a teleprompter.
I’d love to see him try. He’d be off script within the first 10 seconds.
He’d have to “weave” into the parts that Putin, Obama, and Hannibal play part in the prayer
…without erupting in flames!
Our father… great guy. The best guy really. And he says the same about me. I hear it from people close to him all the time, he says ‘Donald Trump, great guy, not like Biden’… And he lives in the sky, can you believe that? Right up there, with the planes… The great American planes… Boeing. And you know where they’re made? I’ll tell you where they’re not made… China
Or something like that anyway
Thank you.
I was going “our father who art… my father’s name wasn’t Art…” and it just wasn’t working.
Our Father, which art…
…uh…
…which art should we cut funding for next?
Genocide Jesus bout to get down
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You think it’d be only one nuke launched? lel
Who launches other nukes?
What the actual fuck is this? One of those weird af exorcisms?
They’re doing some sort of prayer, I’d guess something along the lines of “God let this man be your vessel to help achieve the glory of the kingdom of heaven on earth”
You know, kind of like asking a wolf to bring about a vegan paradise on earth
It’s not a fuck, he’s taking a huge dump on America.
No, he is exposing America for what it has always been. What he is doing to the interior of the empire is what this country has been doing to the global south for over a century.
America has never been the “Good Guy”™ willingly.
I hope I’ll live long enough to see the world utopia brought about by the self-collapse of the US 😬
I will just be happy knowing that the American hegemony is ending even if I never get to see what comes after.
The old saying “plant trees whose shade you know you’ll never get to sit”
Humans have been cutting each others’ trees for millenia, but I like your optimism.
They have for much longer and more consistently shared the fruits of those trees when they aren’t being manipulated by social forces that condition them to compete with each other for readily available resources.
Humans are a communal species by nature. We only need to encourage that nature instead of continuing to allow a small subsection of the population to abuse it.
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Idolatry, except we didn’t get a badass scene of Moses being pissed off.
It’s the opposite of an exorcism, devils don’t want to touch that shit
I think this one is an inorcism
what a brilliant word, i am absolutely gonna steal that <3
“Hey Satan, mind hopping in there real quick and sorting that shit out?”
Is giving Satan a near-Trump experience ethical though?
I think we’d definitely be better off with Satan in charge.
At least we might get some decent music.
I bet none of them washed their hands first… or after.
God save us from his followers.
Jesus fucking Christ
This timeline is absolutely wild.
I keep on hoping to wake up in an alternate timeline.
Mr President, God spared you in Butler, PA to be the most consequential President in a century—maybe ever. The decisions on your shoulders I would not want to be made by anyone else. You have many voices speaking to you Sir, but there is only ONE voice that matters. HIS voice. I am your appointed servant in this land and am available for you but I do not try to get in your presence often because I trust your instincts. No President in my lifetime has been in a position like yours. Not since Truman in 1945. I don’t reach out to persuade you. Only to encourage you. I believe you will hear from heaven and that voice is far more important than mine or ANYONE else’s. You sent me to Israel to be your eyes, ears and voice and to make sure our flag flies above our embassy. My job is to be the last one to leave.
I will not abandon this post. Our flag will NOT come down! You did not seek this moment. This moment sought YOU! It is my honor to serve you!
That is some weird shit.
That’s some hardcore toadying. If it didn’t have such nasty real-worl consequences, it’d also be comical, since Trump clearly regards fundies as suckers.
jfc, would someone please dom this man already and help him get all the bootlicking out of his system in a healthy way that doesn’t jeporadize international affairs.
In all seriousness though, this is sad as fuck. What a pathetic waste of flesh and bone.
Huckster is a weird fuck.
These idiots projecting their religion onto a man who regularly makes fun of their religion is pretty weird by its self but mike is getting extra weird
I wonder if he’s one of those believers that the destruction of Israel will usher in the end times and Jesus’ return to earth and has the biggest boner right now over escalating this conflict.
I’m pretty sure he is. The weirder thing is I’m pretty sure he knows trying to bring about the rapture of one’s own will is a one way ticket strait down.
I don’t think they do actually. Most of the super religious people in my family are Southern Baptist, they all firmly believe that they have a duty to spread the word of god because everybody living has to have been given the option to accept Jesus before the rapture can happen.
They are seriously a death cult who seriously want the rapture to happen and seriously believe they have a part in making it happen.
It’s the act of trying to make it come on your schedule. Doesn’t matter to mcchristians but no one is supposed to know when it would happen. Also runs afowl of putting ones own judgment above god but that’s a borderline scholarly argument these people don’t have the capacity to consider
Yeah, they’re an incredible arrogant bunch of racist tent-show snake-juggling hucketers.
The only Evanglicals I’ve ever met who try to walk the walk are from the Black churches.
mcchristians
Sorry that it makes you uncomfortable, but they are Christians too.
Your religion is evil and always has been.
Not my religion. I just read and don’t paint people with broad brushes. A grand total of 9% of Christians have read the bible; like you, captain armchair, people just don’t like to read.
I’m not Christian so I don’t really have a skin in the game but insofar as I’m still Lutheran: No, those people aren’t Christian. Well, actual Lutherans would never say it like that but talk about “people regrettably being in grave error” but same difference.
Point being is that you can’t profess to follow a religion if you ignore core tenets. You can’t be a dancer if you never dance. And you can’t be a Christian if your creed boils down to “Jesus was too woke”.
Your religion is evil and always has been.
Christianity has always been self-righteous and arrogant (see the Lutheran “charity” above), but that’s not the same as evil – otherwise the French would also be inherently evil. They can, indeed, be quite rad on occasion.
It is not those who hear the law, but those who do the law, who shall be delivered.
It’s astonishing how many self-professed Christians straight-up ignore Romans 2.
Epictetus puts it even better though:
Never call yourself a philosopher, nor talk a great deal among the unlearned about theorems, but act conformably to them. Thus, at an entertainment, don’t talk how persons ought to eat, but eat as you ought. For remember that in this manner Socrates also universally avoided all ostentation. And when persons came to him and desired to be recommended by him to philosophers, he took and- recommended them, so well did he bear being overlooked. So that if ever any talk should happen among the unlearned concerning philosophic theorems, be you, for the most part, silent. For there is great danger in immediately throwing out what you have not digested. And, if anyone tells you that you know nothing, and you are not nettled at it, then you may be sure that you have begun your business. For sheep don’t throw up the grass to show the shepherds how much they have eaten; but, inwardly digesting their food, they outwardly produce wool and milk. Thus, therefore, do you likewise not show theorems to the unlearned, but the actions produced by them after they have been digested.
Those arrogant fucks think they can force God’s hand.
Incidentally, most of their end-times beliefs were made up in the 19th and early 20th centuries. It’s all a bunch of shitty fanfic from mentally unstable cultists. As opposed to mainstream Christianity, which is based on fanfic from deranged cultists from the first to fifth centuries AD, plus a bit of window-dressing added in the late Middle Ages.
I prefer cult classic over new cult.
You know, I didn’t think this was WW3 yet. I thought this was going to escalate proxy wars and spread fear across the globe at a scale we haven’t seen since the height of the Cold War, but… the President just quoted an Ambassador in Jerusalem asking for a thermonuclear World War in God’s name.
The New Crusades was not on my bingo list.
It was on mine, unfortunately…
Publically Intoxicated “News” Anchor, Secretary of Defense, and Author of American Crusade, Pete Hegseth
Ah fuck, why am I not even surprised?
Holy shit. The Christian version of the 1979 Iranian Revolutionary Guard has risen. God is not with MAGA.
Known dominionist doing extremist shit; once all the Muslims are gone the Christians are supposed to kill the Jews. Then Jesus returns. These people actually believe this and will use it as their justification to drag us all down with them.
That sounds like it was written by AI right? I would love to know the what the prompt was.
