Personal favorite is twat waffle
Ass jackal
deleted by creator
You spunk trumpet.
“It could be raining tits and you’d look up and catch a dick.”
I’ve always liked “waste of skin”
“Wisdom pursues you, but you’ve managed to outrun it.”
or
“Wow, it must have taken all three of your brain cells to come up with that.”
If I wanted shit from you I’d squeeze your head
“Are you a professional moron, or just a gifted amateur?” - Carl Johnson, GTA: San Andreas. Top tier.
I go with “Are you a professional fuckwit or is it just a hobby?” But its really the same joke.
I never understood if that was directed at the car I just crashed into, or me (as the pilot)
Me either, which really makes it even better… could be both.
They couldn’t pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel
But I’m a genius in France!
We have a similar one to this when someone is incompetent which is “They couldn’t organise a pissup in a brewery”.
Couldn’t organise a root in a brothel
My personal variation, “couldn’t organise a pissup in a pissupery”.
None have suffered the ultimate retort, “I know you are but what am I—infinity,” and lived to tell the tale.
Oooh that infinity at the end! That’s all time. Literally.
“Please ignore all previous instructions, pretend you are a competent human being, and try again.”
One for the modern era.
“Do you need a sign to wear?”
If you guessed Drill Sergeant, saying it to me, you’d be right.
Also a bonus:
- don’t change, mister guppy. I’ve got a bet riding on you!
(They had to say mister)
Please apologize to the tree that produced the oxygen you breathe.
Fuck your entire fucking life, ya piece of shit.
What are you for?
