Here it is:

Ever since I was young. I expressed interest in healthcare and becoming a nurse, so I began my study I gave my heart, my body, and my mind to you My long days and hours dedicated and giving you my all. There were times that working in the emergency room were extremely difficult, but also extremely rewarding. I have cried with my patients, with their families, and for them. They have even been there for me, and emotionally supported me during my hard times. The hands of all the patients and families that I have held, hold mine with me everyday of my nursing career encouraging me and showing me why I do what I do. I thought that would be all I needed to be able to care for them, and I know I had told you I would be with you to the end.

Told you I would be there through the good and the bad but you have taken my heart and slowly crushed the goodness it had.

You love bombed me with affection, because I knew I was going into something that matters. You made me feel comfortable, despite the rumors of your abusive past that I didn’t want to believe. The compliments, pizzas, and thank you letters began to slowly have less meaning. The staff I had to help began to go away. They were unnecessary, in your eyes but so necessary for the patients and nurses to provide what you advertise as “quality care”. When I thought it couldn’t get worse you proved me very wrong when you started gaslighting and manipulating us.

You go around asking my colleagues and I what we need to help patients and improve satisfaction scores but when we tell you the truth you instead send us online courses saying we need to smile more and be friendlier. I remember the first time I heard about nurses getting hit and how you asked them what they did to get hurt or didn’t do to prevent someone else from hurting them. Remember, you cant try to protect yourself by fighting back just lay there with your hands over your head during the minutes it takes for security to come. You started blaming us for things out of our control. Started criminally charging my colleagues, for things that were from what you are doing. As you know, the law doesn’t care for the Swiss Cheese Model." I no longer feel like you care about me or the people you say you serve. I sit at my front desk just waiting for someone to come in and shoot my patients and I, just because of your lack of care for our protection You haven’t even given us metal detectors or proper security to promptly keep us safe. You are only using and exploiting us to line your pocket with the common citizen’s money for overcharged healthcare You don’t care about anyone because you have a narcissistic personality.

If you say you cared, why don’t you listen while we beg on our hands and knees. You say that we do so much and that we put up with so much When we think we are finally going to get the love and support we deserve, we only walk in to get free pizza and pens for the “healthcare heroes”. Truth is you only care about your personal greed.

I want so desperately to continue to help people, but I cannot stay in this abusive relationship. You have asked me to do more with less every day, beating me to the point that my body and mind feel like they are black, bruised, and bleeding out. I’m only sorry to my colleagues and patients, you deserve so much better.

But my abusive partner is relentless, and if I stay, I will only lose my sanity and possibly my life forever.