Tldr guy only works 3 hours a day

I wake up at 5:30 because my arsehole boss insists that I’m at my desk at 7am.

As a result I’m tired all the time and get fuck all done.

Here’s my morning routine:

1. Wake up at 8 (assuming a crying baby doesn’t wake me up sooner)

2. Change diapers

3. Spend time with my wife and sons

4. Walk to the grocery store with my toddler (3500 steps round trip or so)

5. Drink a kombucha on the way home (coffee raises my cholesterol and gives me awful anxiety symptoms)

6. Change diapers

7. Take my toddler to the playground, weather permitting

8. Have lunch with my wife and sons

9. Read books to my toddler, change his diaper, and put him down for a nap

10. Think about how I’m leaving the USA next year because LinkedIn and American work culture are absolute trash

I’m on paternity leave and it’s been the best part of my career. As in not working at all is the best part of my career. How fucked is that?

I would gladly change diapers and hang out with screaming kids all day instead of dealing with my dumb ass coworkers and people who can’t honor a meeting invite planned weeks out but then expect me to “hop on a quick call” which then achieves nothing. The constant threat of layoffs and losing my livelihood. The political backdrop of having my family deported because they’re too dark a shade of brown and speak Spanish sometimes.

Fuck this place. I’m out.

I saw this multiple times already on Linkedin reposted with huge engagement.

While I understand this is borderline fiction, absolutely unrealistic and in my eyes an equivalent of those pictures with pretty girls laughing with a plate of salad promoting healthy eating, but for me the comment section of this post is the cherry on top cheering how “brilliant” this is. People are so fucked up on Linkedin.

“No meetings before 2pm”, “saying no is a superpower” yeah brill mate I’ll just say no to my boss multiple times a morning forever and absolutely won’t get fired for being difficult thanks Matt xo

I prefer the other Matt Gray tbh, he’s funnier and doesn’t tell me to wake up at 5:30 when I’ve just gotten to sleep…

“I wake up at 5:30 because I fall asleep at 18:30. Everyone should try to live like this bro”

The thing that’s so irritating to me isn’t the tone, isn’t the weird preaching, isn’t the push to follow on social media. What gets me (as it always does) is that assholes like this push their message as a one-size-fits-all message.

Assholes like this always think everyone else works just like them, and it makes me crazy.

The only thought I’m connecting with at 5:30 in the fucking morning is “I’m so tired, I want to go back to sleep”.

This isn’t terrible advice, but it’s presented in such a way that I want to strike the author for being such a smug prick.

By 10am? You reach 10am by step 4.

Also number 7 contradicts 4. Phone calls can be meetings. But what do I know.

• wake up at 5:30am

Fuck right off.

“Saying ‘no’ is a superpower, it will lead you to your true calling. Trust your instincts.”

“Want my morning routine checklist? Follow Matt Gray”

No. ( :

wake up at 5.30 so you can be at your top shape by 8 am and earn that yacht for your CEO!

Funny how it’s not the worst idea but “this alone separates you from 99% of people” is like putting poison in soup and now the whole thing is ruined.