“Exxon-2024 killed 300 people today as it battered the state”
I love it. Just go down the list of companies and conglomerates that produce the most greenhouse emissions. Just put the year after the name to keep things straight.
- “China Coal '24”
- “Vistra Energy '25”
The lower you are on the list, the less likely people will associate your company with the destruction of their homes and communities.
Actually, since the hurricane season keeps starting earlier and earlier, that would benefit the top of the list (since early-season hurricanes tend to be weaker) because the ones that everyone hears about will almost certainly be several names down the list. For instance, the only ones that anybody’s heard about this year are Beryl (second named storm), Helene (eighth named storm), and Milton (thirteenth named storm). Even Kirk (eleventh named storm and a category 4) went by without a fuss, because it never made landfall.
So my suggestion is, we keep going with the naming system we have, but go with your list–maybe use the Carbon Majors report–and apply the company’s name when they make landfall as a Category 3 or higher, when they cause more than ten fatalities, or when they prompt the evacuation of more than 5,000 people. At that point, the storm gets a tag: “Hurricane Chinese-Coal Beryl.” “Hurricane Saudi-Oil Helene.” “Hurricane Russian-Oil Milton.”
Excellent revision. Would love to see something like this actually implemented, even if it was from an unofficial organization. I think it’d catch on, especially the more people are displaced.
Big vessel shipping companies too!
I mean, it’s much better than trucks, and way better than airplanes for short distance
This sounds great, until you realize that some brands don’t believe there is such a thing as bad publicity. Given the opportunity, they would eagerly buy naming rights. Can you imagine how thrilled some ad exec would be to hear everyone saying Budweiser right now instead of Milton?
I see this shower thought every time a hurricane happens. I think we should name it something offensive, followed by a random series of letters and numbers. When you google those letters and numbers, you get taken to news stories about the corporations who’ve caused the most global warming, with names of CEOs, and everyone responsible.
So like Florida got hit with Hurricane ButtholeAids5FDD347 today.
Then you google ButtholeAids5FDD347 and get taken to stories about BP fracking, and how it’s affected the gulf of mexico.
As everyone knows, there were no hurricanes before the late 18th century.
