If i ever get something stuck up my ass while trying to pleasure myself and need medical help to remove it, I will absolutely try to come up with the most convoluted and ridiculous story for how it got there. Not out of embarrasment, but just to give the ER nurses a good laugh.
Again?
Thoughts and prayers for the one patient for whom it actually was a freak accident
Probably the priest who fell on a potato while cooking naked
How’d you know he was a priest if he was naked?
He was praying when it happened. “Oh my god”
Fun fact: If you actually fell and landed on something with enough force to make it’s way inside of you the object would quite literally rip your asshole. When it’s a true accident, it’s very clear due to the blood loss and whatnot
This sign is bullshit, I accidentally put my prostate massager in my butt all the time, sometimes twice in one day.
who tf putting a key up there?
Sorry, I thought it would unlock it so I could get all the other items out. Guess it was the wrong key though… ☹️
“Million to one shot, doc”
Wait, why an apple?
Because pineapples are a bit trickier, obviously
Especially if there is already a pizza in there - people get rally mad & very political
