Am man.

I enjoy living alone.

I enjoy owning my house and keeping it clean and maintained.

I enjoy cooking at a pretty high level.

I don’t particularly enjoy doing my laundry, but it doesn’t hinder me.

I do not enjoy yardwork, so I outsource it to a landscaper.

I enjoyed being a single dad.

I enjoy watching my daughter making her way in the world.

I enjoy it when my daughter calls me to regale me with tales of her life. I enjoy it even more when she calls me for advice.

I enjoy stability.

I enjoy the silence.

I enjoy the autonomy.

I’m pretty boring.

Age has definitely begun to take its toll on my youthful looks, especially as all my remaining teeth seem to be rebelling all at once.

I do not adapt well to changes in my daily routine or my domestic environment.

I save money. I don’t much spend it.

But I enjoy traveling whenever I feel like it to wherever I feel like to see whichever friends I please.

I do not own a bidet or an electric kettle, just a dystopian stovetop kettle.

Life has repeatedly, loudly, aggressively taught me that all of this is woefully insufficient.

I am not a desirable adult.

Please, take the bear and leave me be.