Because every second of my life, the task of being okay with existing in the real world does take effort.
That’s rough. Is it possible to change the environment in some way so it bothers you less? I don’t know anything about being autistic, but I used to live in a big city, eventually I couldn’t stand it anymore, homeless tents next to upmarket fashion shops, bus drivers avoiding bus stops like the plague, the endless NPC tech demo ass crowds, the costs, the grey, the awful public transport, thugs, lads, beckys, chavs, tourists etc etc. I used to feel exhausted just literally being outside, any small thing would ruin my day utterly and completely and I would retreat to sleep, dreaming of watching it burn. Now I live elsewhere, and I’m much happier overall.
It got better when I moved from the suburbs to the city, but it’s never going to be perfect. I like to focus on the parts I can control. I can’t make the landlord install better sound insulation in the apartment walls, that’s unreasonable. It should be a reasonable ask, but it isn’t. But I can control how many questions my girlfriend asks when I’m having a meltdown.
That’s rough. Is it possible to change the environment in some way so it bothers you less? I don’t know anything about being autistic, but I used to live in a big city, eventually I couldn’t stand it anymore, homeless tents next to upmarket fashion shops, bus drivers avoiding bus stops like the plague, the endless NPC tech demo ass crowds, the costs, the grey, the awful public transport, thugs, lads, beckys, chavs, tourists etc etc. I used to feel exhausted just literally being outside, any small thing would ruin my day utterly and completely and I would retreat to sleep, dreaming of watching it burn. Now I live elsewhere, and I’m much happier overall.
It got better when I moved from the suburbs to the city, but it’s never going to be perfect. I like to focus on the parts I can control. I can’t make the landlord install better sound insulation in the apartment walls, that’s unreasonable. It should be a reasonable ask, but it isn’t. But I can control how many questions my girlfriend asks when I’m having a meltdown.