• HauntedCupcake@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    The problem is that the argument isn’t about the bear, it’s about emotions.

    The dudes trying to defend themselves feel personally attacked, because telling someone that the average woman thinks they’re more dangerous than a bear feels both unfair and discriminatory.

    The people on bear side, encounter enough shitty men that they feel like the average man is more likely to harm them compared to bear.

    The scenario is so unlikely to occur that any factual arguments are impossible to prove either way. And the way the question is structured (either accidentally or otherwise) is inflammatory and divisive.

    I’m sure everyone can agree that women have to deal with shitty predatory men way too often. And that’s the thought that the question is meant to provoke.

    People defending most men aren’t automatically predators and stalkers, please have a little empathy for them, and hopefully they’ll have a little empathy for you

    • gmtom@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      The dudes trying to defend themselves feel personally attacked, because telling someone that the average woman thinks they’re more dangerous than a bear feels both unfair and discriminatory.

      I’m not a man and not trying to defend myself. I just think the bear aren’t being reasonable (when taken literally and not as a thought provoking comment)

      It’s like and introvert saying they would rather fight a gorilla than make a phone call for a doctors appointment. Yeah I understand the point you’re making but beyond the hyperbole, no reasonable person is actually choosing the gorilla over a phone call.

      • HauntedCupcake@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Totally understand your point, I’m not saying that the anti bear side is all dudes defending themselves. Although I should have written that better because it’s not obvious.

        I’m mostly responding to the post title of “Either ya understand why most women pick the 🐻 or you are the 🐻” which has the effect of making men feel bad for trying to defend themselves.

        I wish more people were as level headed as you in these discussions. Part of my point is that the bear side aren’t being reasonable

      • AnalogyAddict@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        Try assuming the person saying it is reasonable.

        That’s the problem. Women are reasonable. They have good reasons for saying what they are saying.

    • bi_tux@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      that’s cool and all, but most incidents happen with men the victims knew peesonally, strangers are relatively harmless

      • HauntedCupcake@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        You’re right, factually you’re right. That’s not what this is really about though.

        Enough strangers are weird and creepy to women they’ve just met in a way that feels threatening and scary. Think about catcalling, groping at bars, first dates gone wrong. None of these are going to be recorded as incidents, even if they should be.

        The bear doesn’t matter, the statement is about feelings, not facts or logic. It’s about how women feel unsafe around unknown men

    • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      what good is empathy when there is moral outrage and shaming to indulge in?

      we all know men aren’t people. only women are people.

      • HauntedCupcake@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        I get where you’re coming from, that’s why I’m arguing in favour of more empathy for the men, as well as more empathy for the women.

        I just want people to calm down and talk to each other