Bang bang Vatican’s gilded hammer came down on his head
do do dooo do
Bang bang Vatican’s gilded hammer made sure that he was dead
whoa-o whoa-o whoa-o whoa-oPope Joan was quizzical…
D’oh, it should say “another target Cleric” to avoid confusion.
That is some Guilliman level artifact
It was in a book of papal facts my very Catholic childhood friend had on the bus one time, so I buy it. One additional aspect I remember is that they call them by their Christian/given name when they hit them.
Live your life such that they have to verify your death
The silver hammer of Saint Maxwell.
my favourite fact is that “factoid” doesn’t mean “little fact” but is actually starting to mean that
In this case it seems to fit pretty well.
What does it actually mean?
Edit: Nevermind, @jerkface already answered.
+3 to hit vs. Popes, Cardinals, and Bishops. On hit, Popes who are alive but playing dead must save vs. Fortitude or die.
I have one of these on my coffee table that’s decoration. Found it just laying in some room when I visited the Vatican in the 90s. Weird.
may we have a photo?
Silas? Is that you?
I think it also has a set bonus with the crown. There’s a shroud in that set too, IIRC.
It gives +5 to-hit and damage, +2d6 holy damage, +5 to carpentry skill, and can only be equipped by Catholics. It deals double damage to lycanthropes.
Yeah, but the lawful evil alignment restriction, fuck that.
I bought one of those at Harbor Freight for like ¼ the price the Vatican probably paid.
Yeah but it breaks after hitting 2 popes
Still cheaper to replace when it breaks than the Snap-On one.
That’s the cool thing about harbor freight. How many popes you really gonna hit on any given day?
In all seriousness, my dad was a mechanic, and he’d buy HF air impact guns instead of Mac or Matco or Snap-On. The nice ones cost four to six times as much, and needed to be serviced about every 18 months, during which time he was down a gun.
So he’d buy two or three HF guns, use one till it broke in six months, switch to another, replenish stock at his convenience.
Secondhand, Harbor Freight, and Ryobi is the way for most tools.
As many as it takes.
that’s still a good 40-50 years of use!
I was just thinking that Stanley Tools should capitalize on Stanley’s success and release a line of replica ceremonial tools backed by a viral campaign instead of suing them for their success.
I would probably buy a replica pope whacker, the U.S. congressional mace if virally advertised, or even a golden shovel, engraved with a jaunty nihilistic saying, like “Digging my own grave!”
I got a golden shovel for Christmas 2017. I was (am) obsessed with twin peaks and my wife made one for me like from the show (the comeback season or whatever). Because I have to dig myself out of the shit.
I prefer the Holy Ball-Peen.
Looks like a scaling hammer, like you’d use to knock the scale off a weld. Maybe an allusion to Saul/Paul and scaly eyes?
Jesus allegedly came back, they aren’t taking those kinds of risks these days
Do you know how many more murals they’d have to paint?
Location, location, location
Is it to make sure, or is it to make sure?
They should abstain from the hammer this time round. Zombie pope is the 2025 twist no-one would see coming.
The MitreSmiter 9000. Puts all doubt to rest.
