A Tesla owner’s dream of taking his new Cybetruck for a spin turned into a nightmare. He landed in the emergency room with blood spurting from a wrist wound before even getting behind the wheel.
Blood letting can actually be healthy in many American males, since often they have a overabundance of iron. Thus we must conclude the Elon Musk Supergenious has used Grok AI to let the Cybertruck analyze their owners through the autodrive cameras and automatically bleed them if they have a overabundance of iron. Tesla continues to innovate and in fact probably saved this mans life!
One day soon someone will search online for what to do for a cut and some AI will spit out “Blood letting can actually be healthy in many American males, since often they have a overabundance of iron…”
Can’t wait for IA to tell that non-toxic glue will help recover from an open wound if you mix it at a ratio of 6/8 with cheese.
Plus any blood that ends up on the truck makes it go fasta.
Blood only has magical power if it belongs to a virgin.
So you’re probably right.
It’s not the blood but the red…
I just use wax.
Ear wax.
From sacrificed virgins.
It actually wouldn’t surprise me if this turned out to be true
Don’t worry that will never happen and if Elon should say it’s true, he’s lying.
There’s a reason we don’t have hood ornaments anymore, but somehow a vehicle completely constructed of sharp corners and edges is just fine.
Doesn’t certain Mercedes and jaguar still use hood ornaments? I don’t think this is a safety thing, they just fell out of style
Yeah they do, along with Bentley. Not sure about any regulations, but I do know that they are usually (always?) Not rigidly fix any more. You would have to look at the EU to know for sure. I don’t believe that America has any pedestrian impact standards. Hell the the DOT crash standards for passengers are a joke.
Mercedes’s stars have been on springs for decades indeed. You can easily push them over (but make sure you put it back nicely). I think Rolls Royce’s Spirit of Ecstasy pops back into the hood but I don’t know how that works on impact.
You don’t see those long rigidly fixed guillotines they had in the 50’s anymore. I do know from experience that the little Mercedes three point hoop thing is kind of spring loaded so it’ll flex during an impact.
But that’s been that way since the 80s, I know because I was the shitty kid that would turn hood ornaments sideways or backwards as I passed…
Naw man just turn it 15 degrees or so.
The corners are insanely dangerous IMO. You’ve got basically a sheet of metal along the edge of the truck which sticks out a bit. Relevant bit from a Youtube video https://youtu.be/LC9a3GR1HJY?t=437
The two aren’t linked?
Hood ornaments were mostly an artifact of how radiators used to be filled. There was SOME discussion of whether they are more dangerous to a pedestrian but most were flimsy to the point that the corpse rolling up on your hood would snap it off rather than get impaled like a Spindlebeast is running a train on them.
Mostly… it was a mix of people wanting “sleek” cars coupled with those inevitably getting broken off and stolen.
Early hood ornaments, and hood “spurs” were most certainly dangerous to pedestrians. Regulations in the US eliminated traditional fixed hood ornaments, though some later models featured smaller spring-loaded ornaments.
The risk factor of traditional hood ornaments was always very suspect and more a function of hood design than not. The actual danger (which, again, is still very questionable when you are getting hit by a car at speed) was more stuff like (going by the wikipedia page) the 1949 Kaiser and the texas faux horns. Literal spikes on the front of a car. Not a pointy bit on top of the hood. And breakaway bits or springs go a long way toward negating those.
Also, it is very much worth actually looking into the kinds of car regulations the US has. We have a LOT of stupid knee jerk regulation and laws that don’t actually make sense (and, in a lot of cases, make our cars more dangerous) but passed because only one “side” had lobbyists involved.
No, pay no mind to those deadly ornaments! I’m talking about the traditional ones! Those were great. The real problem is the stupid government catering to the anti-ornament lobby…
You’re arguing against a point I never made.
We don’t have hood ornaments anymore. Regulations in the US in 1968 eliminated traditional fixed hood ornaments - along with implementing all sorts of safety and economy standards - shortly after Johnson signed the Department of Transportation into existence. And that came shortly after Nader’s overwhelmingly popular book, Unsafe At Any Speed.
Later spring-loaded and breakaway hood ornaments fell by the wayside for style and aerodynamic reasons, but they were mostly gone anyway.
That’s what actually happened. Hood ornaments were, for all practical purposes, eliminated by safety regulations. Whether that specific, or other general, safety regulation is effective or the result of lobbying one way or another is not relevant to actual historical events.
Yes, there was (very limited…) legislation. But they were already on their way out in the 60s. And there were hood ornaments on rolls royces and even mercedes well into the 2010s.
If hood ornaments were really something people valued then we would still see the spring mounted or snap off variety. Hell, car manufacturerers would LOVE to sell a disposable status symbol. But they went out because, as you yourself even mention, “aerodynamic reasons” (which is also really questionable but…). Cars, especially in the 90s/00s, stopped being boxy messes and started being smooth and “sleek” and the hood ornament aesthetic was not part of that.
This is not a win for legislation or safety. If it were then we would actually see strong legislation against steel frames and putting those bumper bars on civilian vehicles.
They also just kinda look dated.
Also Rolls Royce, Bently, and Maybach still have them.
Exactly. And too many people steal them. They didn’t remove them for safety reasons. Idk what this guy’s smoking.
… in the US. In other countries, they can’t be bought and likely never will be.
We can’t have pop-up headlights because of pedestrian safety, but you can buy a 5,000 pound vehicle that does 0-60 in three seconds and has a hood level with most people’s heads because that’s totally safe for pedestrians.
Bdesign thought that the cut was small, like a paper cut, until blood started spurting out from the wound. The Tesla inspectors who were there and even described that the vehicle “can be dangerous” panicked but helped.
Oh good, multiple witnesses.
…from Tesla.
Perjury it is.
I saw the original LAMF post. A detail missing here was that the inspectors were joking (that it could be dangerous) at first when they saw the cut because even they didn’t know how dangerous it was.
Trauma bonding. (800) 799-7233
Listen, I love to hate on the cybertruck, but this article is just repeating a claim made in a forum post. There appears to have been no attempt made to verify the facts of the matter. I’d take this with a big grain of salt.
That’s all people need to participate in the outrage culture tho
This isn’t outrage, it’s schadenfreude, and it’s well earned. It just doesn’t excuse not vetting your sources. When a story justifies your existing ideas about the world is when you need to be most skeptical.
People are outraged? Unjustified, no matter what or why.
A blood sacrifice to the Musk.
I’m sure he’ll justify it to himself immediately. He’s already sunk so much cost.
From the article, it kind of sounds like he regrets his choice already. And not just because he injured himself on it!
These are the sort of accidents you get when you mix a child-like worship of billionaires with cheap, sheet metal construction and a failure to grind down exposed sharp edges because there was no rule saying that the billionaire had to do it.
Cyber truck: it just kills you ™
The Tesla cybertruck is supposed to bond with you. The guy should have read the details. Now he’s going to be wondering about the central rounded spike on the seat which provides anal coupling and the neural interface needles on the headrest.
I was hoping they’d start adding a sort of rounded plastic shell to make it more aerodynamic and cover over the sharp edges, but if customers still like them after an injury there’s no incentive to dull the edges.
If enough non-customers are killed, they may have to do something, but idk what.
The Tesla inspectors who were there and even described that the vehicle “can be dangerous” panicked but helped.
No. This should never have been approved for sale. A consumer vehicle cannot be touted as “dangerous” by the customer representatives except as in ways accepted by all passenger vehicles. This isn’t a work vehicle with special licensing or training needed. This thing is so dangerous, shoddy and badly built it should never have received certification to be sold as a new car.
Seriously the cybertruck stories have really made me question how much regulation there really is regarding car safety.
How are we, the public, watching this soup sandwich play out in realtime and there’s nothing actionable there for regulators?
One more aspect of my faith in our governmental systems starting to take a beating on this one.
They were joking until the blood started to really pour.
License plate:
EDGLRD
WNKMSTR was already taken
The Cybertruck deemed him unworthy. Only the most based may ride the greatest vehicle in all of human history, if not the history of the universe.
In reality the truck is possessed by a demon that wanted a blood offering.
Why not both?
So it’s a server rack in truck form? Now it makes a lot of sense.
I’ve read a short story with similar theme from mostly unknown local author. It was called something like “vampire car” and the car did not use fuel, but blood from the driver’s foot instead. Due to this it was unbelievably fast, but deadly.
Stephen King also wrote “Christine” about a killer car.
I’ve heard of it, but did not read it (yet). The story I wrote about was from early 60s, which made it quite unique IMO.
Christine is a good read. Not to take away from your referenced story, but especially if you like king, Christine slaps
I really like what I’ve read from him, although it wasn’t that much. Book of some short horror stories and The Stand, which was really amazing (to the point I watched that mediocre TV series with Gary Sinise, which was quite let down after the book). I’ve also recently got Under the Dome, so that’ll be my next read I think.
I really like Under the Dome to the point of not minding the TV adaptations.
If you like the Stand, you’ll probably like most King (although thats probably one of his best.) The biggest criticism is that he’s long winded - which can definitely be true, but I think most of his fans appreciate that. (I’m reading one of his covid books, Fairy Tale. Its been good but I’m over 1/4 through and “the thing” is only just now maybe beginning to happen lmao.
